nothing i cant handle

something i keep telling myself.

a late friend said to me

i am quiet about the things i care about

and i said to him

it is because i care that i speak nothing of

it confused him as would it to people who read this

well..

it is because i fully acknowledge them that i dont tell

why knit pick if you accept them?

why do so if you love them?

and as cliche as this sounds, nothing is perfect.

that is why we bare the pain that come along with loving a person.

we dare not think of losing them

because in our hearts it is not an option.

we love and we create a bubble for them

containing who they are... as they are

that is how we love them.

on the other hand never let love become a burden as then we only focus on the distressings and that overtakes the love we have.

so at times you just have to say to yourself its nothing you cant handle..

truth hurts but that is how it works

Ouch Charlie

:D

would have been

should have been

been on my mind for awhile

it was supposed to be the most memorable month, this upcoming month

ohh well

what happens, happens

embrace life

to me, to you

30th of May

counting the days...

You will only fail...

if you fail to see..

those who love you...

those who know you..

those who understand you..

those who will forgive you..

those who cherish you..

those who advise you..

those who are wise..

those who prise..

those who stand strong of themselves and also you..

you will only fail when you don't give back...

I feel like slipping away for just this moment..

Momentarily be in your world by myself....

This instant just feels different....

this time the tied rope has loosen...

blasting music in my ears lets me escape....

you're on your way..

i'm staying here..

turn around...

and free you...

within twenty-four hours i might never see this significant person ever again.

this person has been long gone but will officially leave my life..

of course it is not easy but i figure it is best..

Having someone come into your life and made a change and think they can leave whenever..

leave...

and never come back..

it doesnt hurt anymore but it just brings me to tears thinking about the good times we had..

you ask me to forget about everything, it is not something i can erase..

i dont know how you do it but go ahead.. keep in mind that i am different, i will remember all the hate, love and laugh you've brought me..

i shall never forget because i take things and learn from them, i dont choose to run away.. atleast not anymore

this is me facing my biggest fear of losing one more person......

Two More days :D

But whats the difference? mehh

Things are starting to change which is a good thing:)

never the less i will miss the old times and the people..

So two more days and i will officially never see him ever again.

Not a bad thing.

Not that i hate him.

It is for the best:)

I've been so happy for the last 72 hours people are starting to wonder if i hit my head over the weekend:p

LOVING LIFE AND LOVING THE DAYS:)

16/05/11

30 days until the mid year exams.

I dont know how to feel..

its not the only thing on my mind right now...

i look back and look in to the future...

these few weeks are going to be a living hell..

too much thinking, too many emotions..

letting go of one person is hard enough i have to go through two..

i feel like shit, i know there are more out there that are more unfortunate that i am and would probably tell me to get over it but it is hard.

im finding myself crying over people who have long left me..

But i am strong enough to stand right where i am and held on for a period of time..

I will not let go just learn to live without as things will change and i will be happy

A relationship i have told no one

alright.. haven't done this in awhile. i'm only doing this because my sister wants to read it XD soooooo my most recent ex, William Michael Ross. i bet no one would have thought he would be two years younger than me:) Call me a Pedo if u want i most certainly dont give a stuff afterall it was my decision to go out with him. now is everyone interested in knowing what he's like? how oon earth did he manage to get me because i have never gone there and pretty much wont ever:P

Frankly, i havent gotten the full grasp yet and it is quite embarrassing as i am older than him but i'm getting there. We were good friends, well from my perspective we were and then we started going out and broke up not too long ago. about two months ago but anyway i'm not too sure what's going on between us now. I dont think it is awkward at all being friends with your ex but he says I'm not everybody, so basically he worries about how others might see him and outweighs a memorable friendship.Now, i was gonna write about my undying love for him LOLS and i will:P. He is pretty significant in my life as he has made alot of changes and opened up my mind abit more. Everyone knows about my disbelief in men, i'm not saying he proved me wrong but i came to depend on him alot. Despite his arrogance and utter bitchness i trust him. notice i used trust and not trusted? yes, i still do. i think he is genuine and he just needs someone to be able to communicate with someone who he truly trusts and understands him but unfortunately i dont seem to be that special person of his.

ohh i forgot to answer the most important question of all!!! IS HE HOT?!

my answer is, to me he is :P If u asked someone else, their opinion would be not bad but a tad small.

To those of you who are wondering, Yes he is WHITE but not Australian, He is English and He aint christian.

I love all of him still do although i lie about not loving him but who cares i'm just letting my feelings run free. My heart will decide when to stop loving him and dont worry i wont be hurt by him this time cause i am well and truly aware of him having no feelings towards me and i accept that. i sound stupid and corny but i am not some dumb bitch who gives up her life for a guy so dont judge me :)